Before and after is a concept I always thought would be fun for maternity and baby, but I never thought I would love it as much as I do. I love story, I love bookends, and this feels like the perfect way to show that. I’m not into bubblegum maternity, but give me something with some mood to it, and I’m a happy camper. I could never say it better than Hanna, so her words will carry the actual story below.
From Hanna: On December 17th my life changed forever. I honestly thought I could never have children…the pounding in my chest, the speed at which my mind was racing, the overflow of deep emotion those two little lines made me feel. I never thought it would happen, even buying the test, I’d done it a million times before, what was different about this day? Everything. There they were…or there it was, one line, the one I was used to, not pregnant, but that second one, never saw that before. I stared at it hyperventilating for what felt like ten minutes, then a calm came over me. What are you afraid of? You’ve cried sloppy drunk to your best friend at 4am thinking you couldn’t have children, and now here you are. So fast, so sudden, a mother. They say a woman becomes a mother when she finds out she is pregnant and a man becomes a father when his baby is born. This is true in my life. I became a mother that day, even not knowing how far along I was, or if anything was wrong, or if it was a boy or a girl or if I was ready, if we were ready. None of that mattered. From that moment nurturing the innocent little soul the size of a blueberry inside me was the only thing I could think about. I was consumed. My pregnancy was a rocky one, I didn’t get the picture perfect Pinterest inspired crafting, the nesting, and the stereotypical pregnancy you see in the movies. I did it mostly alone, but the blueberry that grew into a butternut squash is what kept me whole, she inspired me and she continues to, to this day. I have been a single mother, I’ve been a mother going to night school to make life better for herself and for her child. Now, because of her, no matter what I do or where I end up I will forever be a mother. Stay at home mom, working mom, fun mom, serious mom, crafty mom, musical mom, health nut mom, mom, mum, mother, mommy, mama. There is one common thread in all of those titles, and there are many more, but we are all mothers…from blueberries to butternut squashes, to the perfect squishy screaming bundles of love that eventually leave our warm protective bodies, which carefully grew each eyelash and pinky toe. A mother’s love can never waver or be challenged.
“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better….but because I knew you….i have been changed, for good.” – Elphaba