It takes a lot of personality to overpower blue hair and a gold, sequined wedding dress. It takes a fierce love for a sister to match the emotion between the couple getting married. I am a huge fan of fiery conviction blended with deep affection, it’s how I want to live my life. That’s exactly what Joanna brings to the table… it’s inspiring to be around. Chris is one of those thoughtful creatives that clearly has smarts to spare, I can only imagine what things this couple will do together. Now, the little sister could be a story all to herself. Anneli stole my heart in seconds. I turned her lose with an extra camera, enjoy her take on the wedding day… not many people can get me to be in a photograph and post it. Put all of this into my favorite Fan Francisco and you end up with a day, and, more importantly, people that will stay with me for years.
Love the people around you. Care deeply. Be fiery.
WORDS OF ADVICE FROM THE BRIDE: Looking for wedding advice from a feminist raised, Irish/Roman Catholic? I found it super helpful to not look at any wedding related media–it is an absolute mindf***. They create “needs” that aren’t needs at all. My philosophy was, “if I don’t already know about it, then I don’t need it.” Websites and magazines (even the ones that claim to be practical, feminist, or alternative in some fashion) still need to pump out article after article–which results in creating false “needs.” For example, you do not NEED hotel gift bags for out-of-town guests (they are adults, they can remember to bring their own granola bars and bottled water), or wedding favors (no one needs a champagne flute with you and your partners initials on it–Goodwill is FULL of wedding tchotchkes!). Of course if you really want those things–do it–but don’t do it if you don’t want to, or can’t afford it.
People, and typically those who weren’t very helpful with the wedding planning, would bring up stuff that I was or wasn’t doing, like not serving food, and would say “People are going to think you are rude/tacky.” I wondered who are these people judging me?!
1. Hopefully most of your guest list can be people who love and support you
2. If anyone is going accuse you of being rude, then screw them. If you have an Aunt who is the person you feel like will be disappointed you don’t have center pieces, or you have a cousin who is clutching her pearls because you aren’t having a church wedding ,or a friend who is outraged you won’t have fancy food or whatever–seriously consider not inviting those people who might rain on your parade. Obviously, you may feel you have to invite folks you don’t want to–and for those people I just kept repeating, “F*** them! They don’t have to come!” Anytime anyone says someone is going to be “outraged” or “upset” or “think it is tacky”—well just tell them “they don’t have to come.”
The wedding industrial complex is designed to make you feel like there will be a panel of judges scoring every aspect of your wedding. Unless you are going to be on Four Weddings, you will not receive a score, you will not get a grade! So don’t worry about doing what is expected of you. Just do what makes you happy. You will be surprised how supportive people are when you hold your ground, and those who continue to be negative, well, you don’t need them. I did not miss or regret not having anything “material” at my wedding. The day of, you really will not care about any of the details that wedding blogs and magazines assert are important.