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Just hours after the Supreme Court ruling on same sex marriage, Miranda and Kailey exchanged vows, laughed with family and friends, and were married. This was to be my first same-sex wedding (theirs, too), so the logistics of two brides wanting made for entertaining conversation as the three of us sat in a local coffee shop, attempting to figure things out, such as, a double first-look, walking down the aisle, garters and bouquets. They weren’t my details to decide on, the girls brought me into the discussion… that’s very much how this wedding went. These generous, kind, smart women, inviting me into their day. What an absolute honor. What a LOT of dresses…:)

As they celebrated with abandon in the water, on a very hot summer evening, I realized I have never seen a national change in law that affected me like this did for them. I’ve never been in the position requiring rights to be given me. I do, however, know what marriage is like, and I’ve been in love for many years now. I wish these brilliant, vibrant women the same.

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It takes a lot of personality to overpower blue hair and a gold, sequined wedding dress. It takes a fierce love for a sister to match the emotion between the couple getting married. I  am a huge fan of fiery conviction blended with deep affection, it’s how I want to live my life. That’s exactly what Joanna brings to the table… it’s inspiring to be around. Chris is one of those thoughtful creatives that clearly has smarts to spare, I can only imagine what things this couple will do together. Now, the little sister could be a story all to herself. Anneli stole my heart in seconds. I turned her lose with an extra camera, enjoy her take on the wedding day… not many people can get me to be in a photograph and post it. Put all of this into my favorite Fan Francisco and you end up with a day, and, more importantly, people that will stay with me for years.

Love the people around you. Care deeply. Be fiery.

WORDS OF ADVICE FROM THE BRIDE: When planning my wedding, I found it super helpful to not look at any wedding related media. They create “needs” that aren’t needs at all. My philosophy was, “if I don’t already know about it, then I don’t need it.” Websites and magazines (even the ones that claim to be practical, feminist, or alternative in some fashion) still need to pump out article after article–which results in creating false “needs.” For example, you do not NEED hotel gift bags for out-of-town guests (they are adults, they can remember to bring their own granola bars and bottled water), or wedding favors (no one needs a champagne flute with you and your partners initials on it–Goodwill is FULL of wedding tchotchkes!). Of course if you really want those things–do it–but don’t do it if you don’t want to, or can’t afford it.

The wedding industrial complex is designed to make you feel like there will be a panel of judges scoring every aspect of your wedding. Unless you are going to be on Four Weddings, you will not receive a score, you will not get a grade! So don’t worry about doing what is expected of you. Just do what makes you happy. You will be surprised how supportive people are when you hold your ground, and those who continue to be negative, well, you don’t need them. I did not miss or regret not having anything “material” at my wedding. The day of, you really will not care about any of the details that wedding blogs and magazines assert are important.




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  • July 14, 2015 - 4:16 am

    Meredith - I love all of your shots, but I especially love the shots by the window with the city in the background.

  • July 14, 2015 - 5:53 am

    Katy Weaver - This is honestly one of the most beautiful and touching wedding blog posts I’ve read/seen in months. So real, so raw, so awesome, so beautiful. You did an incredible job with this Jay.

  • September 4, 2015 - 7:50 pm

    Moira Cary - I think I’m going to start saving now so that I can afford to have you as my photographer when (if!) I get married….